Trauma-Sensitive Yoga & Healing Emotional Neglect
Trauma-Sensitive Yoga & Healing Emotional Neglect
Are you constantly having challenges in your personal and professional relationships?
Many people don’t realise they’re dealing with the effects of early childhood neglect or early childhood adverse experiences until they start having problems in their adult relationships, both personally & professionally.
Take 8 minutes to listen or read below
Hi loves. Happy Wednesday I believe it is.
I just wanted to hop on and share some perspective.
As usual when I get questions or when I’ve been working with similar things , I like to share some information.
Today’s information is about something that very often comes up with people
when relationships are struggling
or when relationships end.
People very often only realize that they’re dealing with early childhood adverse experiences or the effects of early childhood neglect, when relationships start struggling in their adult life or relationships end within their adult life .
How we were raised and the the household that we’ve been raised in, largely impacts us throughout life, but as I said, many
people don’t realize that they may have a gap within their own emotional development.
So we end up with adults who are in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s physically; but their emotional landscape is the age of a child.
The emotional awareness, self-awareness, emotional awareness, emotional intelligence and how to deal with emotions, has a gap.
The beauty of understanding yoga from a traditional perspective; not yoga that you find, you know just within the gym used for
exercises , but if we understand and use yoga in a way that is taught and understood from a traditional Asian perspective these qualities that come from doing the practices and connecting to your body from a place of understanding what you’re actually doing and what you’re cultivating , bridges this gap.
We no longer have a feeling of feeling insecure within ourselves, or not knowing what we’re doing with our lives, or struggling
with self-confidence, or struggling with self compassion and self-care, struggling with having no voice, or struggling with feeling disconnected.
Once you do the practice and you understand what you’re doing and WHY you’re doing it, there’s a very strong sense of bonding to yourself.
So it’s no longer a situation where as adults we are bonding to other people or we’re bonding to things outside of ourselves as emotional band-aids so to speak.
Once you learn to connect to yourself, you understand what you’re doing and why are you doing it , there’s a very clear sense of secure attachment within yourself.
I had a question from a young male a few weeks ago that said,
Why is it that I’m trying to have a relationship with women that are within the yoga community but in many instances they’re not interested in relationships?
They don’t want to have anybody else in their life or they don’t feel the need to have anyone else in their life they’re quite happy by themselves?
I was explaining to him,
It is this!
These women have developed within themselves.
They’ve invested development into themselves, they’ve been using the practices and doing the practices on a daily basis, and the
ripple effect of that, is that they now have a very strong sense of personal security within themselves.
They’re clear on their identity,
They feel secure within them-self,
They have, not overbearing self-confidence, but
a nice balance of both feminine and masculine confidence,
They’ve cultivated self-compassion,
self love for them-self,
They’re able to be heard for themselves,
They’re able to be seen for for themselves,
and they’re able to connect,
not only to themselves,
but to that which is greater than themselves.
And from that place,
the need to consistently fill their lives with relationships, or fill their life with buying things is removed.
So therein lies the challenge.
On one hand yoga can be done from a totally physical perspective, where you literally just do the exercises.
You do the Asana’s, you do the physical movement, and it’s just simply a form of exercise.
But once you dig deeper within the layers, and you understand the tradition, and you understand the growth of the Complete
Human, and you utilize these practices, that is essentially the outcome.
The ripple effect of this is that in the case of early childhood neglect or early childhood adverse experiences, that is no longer an
overbearing struggle and no longer impacts your relationships both personally or professionally because we reach closure.
People reach closure by simply connecting to the body, understanding what they’re doing, why they’re doing it, and the emotional gaps
that were left from not learning these things as children can be developed and can be overcome as an adult.
Within early childhood development, we all have milestones.
Physically,mentally, emotionally, socially, we have all of these milestones, that we ideally reach before the age of 12, but we still
grow, we still continue to grow as adults.
Just because those milestones were not reached within early childhood, doesn’t mean that they can never be reached, but it is a matter of personal choice that the person wants to grow, they want to improve, they want to develop, they want to understand themselves, they want to be secure within themselves First.
Primary is secure attachment to yourself, and from there, you can start having healthy relationships with other people.
As opposed to seeing other people as something that will complete you.
Other people cannot complete you.
Things outside of yourselves cannot complete you.
But by doing the practice and understanding what you’re doing while you’re doing it, that sense of personal development ripples out into your families, and ripples out into your communities, ripples out into your workplace, in a Healthy Secure Way so the constant conflict is reduced or minimized, that constant need to get emotional band-aids is totally removed, because there’s secure attachment and a very strong bond that is formed to the person within herself, or within within himself, if he is a practitioner.
So I just wanted to hop on here and share some food for thought for you, and put a question mark on that for yourself to consider .
If you realize that you’re consistently having struggles within your relationships or you’re going from one relationship to the next, to the next , to the next; It’s perhaps time to just PAUSE and take a look at how your early childhood adverse experiences , whether there’s been loss or grief or emotional neglect or love used as a tool of control within your early years, or perhaps not used as a tool of control, but just that sense of love and caring connection.
If that wasn’t present within your household when you were growing up, it’s highly likely that that impact does ripple through into
adult relationships and people only realize when there’s been numerous relationships that have not worked out.
So I’m sharing this with you.
The next yoga teacher training is running in July.
If you’re unable to make the 30 day teacher training but you’re struggling with relationships at the moment feel free to reach out.
I am available online and also in person in Hamilton Ontario.
The email address is info(at)saliyalife.com
Have a lovely day